The Mumbles Identity

It was a quiet morning in the office of the Tracy Agency. Tess had opened the front door and one of the windows on the back wall to allow some fresh air to circulate through the room. A light breeze played with a strand of her blonde hair as she sorted through the agency’s file cabinets. The process of digitizing their files had proven to be long and tedious, but their new assistant had relieved the burden slightly.

                Johnny Adonis sat at his desk, going over the accounting software and looking for any outstanding payments due. He looked up when a grey-haired man entered the office doorway. The older gentleman looked at the words painted on the door, then looked inside again.

                “Is this the Tracy Agency?” he asked.

                “And here I thought we were the detectives.” Johnny said with a grin.

                Tess turned and gave Johnny a look that chased the smirk from his face. She greeted the stranger with a warm smile.

                “Yes, of course, this is the Tracy Agency. I’m Tess Tracy, and this is my partner Johnny Adonis. Come in, please. Have a seat.”

                The man entered and made his way to a chair in front of Tess’ desk. He settled himself and set his battered briefcase down next to him. He was gaunt, and the effort of walking had clearly tired him. In spite of his age, his grey hair was thick and full, and he wore a well-groomed moustache. 

                “Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee?” Tess offered.

                “Some water would be nice, thank you.” The man smiled, though his air of discomfort remained.

                Tess, not wanting to rush the man, handed him a bottle of water and leaned against her desk, facing him. “There you go. Now, how can we help you, Mr…?”

                “Erm, Transo. Call me Mr. Transo.” The old man took a gulp of water, then studied the bottle, trying to avoid Mrs. Tracy’s gaze.

                “I see. Mr. Transo, I hope you realize that this agency won’t be involved in any illegal activity. We pride ourselves on our strict business ethics.” Tess spoke with a practiced edge in her voice. It was a speech she’d had to deliver more times than she cared for.

                “Oh! Oh, no, nothing like that.” Mr. Transo looked up, plaintively. “In fact, that’s why I came to you. Your reputation is exactly what I needed.”

                “So, what’s this about?” Johnny chimed in.

                “This.” Mr. Transo lifted his briefcase, opened it and produced a hardbound book. Johnny stood and walked over to Tess, who took the book from Transo. The dust jacket bore a picture of an old-fashioned Wanted poster, with the face of a wide-eyed, grinning woman on it. Johnny read the title out loud.

                “’The Public Enemy: My Life as a Modern-Day Gun Moll’ by Roxanne Fickel with… Kasper Hackett?” Johnny snorted with surprise. “So Hackett’s still at it, huh? Who’s the woman?”

                “She was known as Rocksie.” Tess answered. “She was involved in a few of Dick’s cases a while back. Apparently she was able to make some kind of deal with a federal prosecutor for immunity in exchange for certain testimony, and now she’s cashing in.”

                “She’s a liar is what she is.” The harshness in Mr. Transo’s voice caught Tess and Johnny off-guard.

                “Okay…” Johnny started. “What’s she lying about exactly?”

                Transo took another drink from his water bottle, and then leaned forward. “She’s got three chapters in there about her affair with a man called Feets Diamond. Then she goes into this long story about Mumbles.”

                Tess and Johnny exchanged a look. It was a name they were both familiar with.

                “What about Mumbles?” Tess asked, tentatively.

                “In the book, she says that when she met Mumbles he was an old man who helped capture Feets Diamond, then dropped dead. She goes on to say that the man calling himself Mumbles nowadays-”

                “The one who joined Mr. Crime’s gang,” Johnny interjected.

                “That’s the one,” Transo confirmed. “She says that that guy isn’t the real Mumbles and must be an imposter. That’s not true. I know it’s not.”

                “And how do you know that, Mr. Transo?” Tess asked.

                “Because I knew both men; The real Mumbles and the old man who died. He was a friend of mine.”

                “Which one?” asked Johnny.

                “The old one. The dead one. He was my best friend and I ruined his life for him.” Transo looked down again.

                “Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Tess suggested.

                “All right. It all began a long time ago…

* * *

                I was a small-time fence, working here in the city. I worked mostly with jewelry, some precious metals. You remember Little Face Finny? I moved some product for him. Shoulders, too. Never enough to really get noticed, but people knew I was reliable, and I knew the business pretty well.

                That’s how I got involved with Stan Mumford, the man called Mumbles. He specialized in those high-society jobs. He and his band would show up at a gig, play a few numbers and pick out a few choice marks. Then they’d either lift the goods that night, or come back once they knew the place would be deserted. It was easy pickings, and they always brought the merchandise to me.

                One day Mumbles came to me with a big score. The Star of Ranjipooie, a famous gem. I don’t know where or how he got his hands on it; I just knew he didn’t want to share the take with his band. I told him that a piece like that would be sure to attract attention if I tried to move it right away, so we agreed to hide it until the heat was off. We buried it together, hidden in one of his guitars.

                Now I found myself tied to Mumbles until the end. He didn’t want to let me out of his sight, afraid that I would double-cross him. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t kill me, because then he’d have to find a new fence for the Star. But still, he let me know in no uncertain terms that if the Star ever went missing, he’d find me and settle the score.

                Lucky for me, it was around that time that he got himself pretty well occupied with a girl singer named Kiss Andtel. Mumbles and his quartet started using Kiss more and more, sometimes on jobs that took them out of town for long stretches. For all I knew, Mumbles had forgotten about me.

                Then I read in the paper about Mumbles being lost at sea after trying to blow up his whole group on a boat. I didn’t know what to think. As far as I knew, the Star of Ranjipooie was all mine, I just had to go and dig it up. But a part of me wasn’t sure. There was no body, and if there anyone in the world that could cheat death like that, it was Mumbles.

                So there I was, sitting on a huge score that I was too afraid to touch. I took it as a sign that I should turn my life around. I left the city and signed on with a freighter transporting ore back and forth from Canada. It was there that I met Johnny.

                John Dewey could have been anything he wanted. He had bright blue eyes and wavy blond hair, and a smile that always seemed to catch the light. He was smart and funny, but didn’t like to show off. He also didn’t like to talk about his past. I never knew why he was working as a boat hand, but I always got the feeling that he was hiding from something.

                Johnny and I worked on that freighter for years and became best friends. Then, one day a line snapped and Johnny got hit in the head by a flying pulley; a big steel one that knocked him overboard. I dove in after him and got him to the surface, but by that time the damage was done. Between the blow on the head and temporary loss of oxygen, he suffered serious damage to his brain.

                His memory was gone. He had no idea who he was or what he had been. It also affected his speech so he couldn’t talk quite right. After the accident we couldn’t stay on the boat, so we both went to work in a mine. He was capable enough to do grunt work, simple things so he could support himself. I kept an eye on him, too, to make sure he was all right. And I helped him figure out who he was.

                I don’t really know why I told him he was Mumbles. What else could I tell him - That I was his best friend, but I barely knew anything about his life before he started working on a boat? No, that wasn’t good enough. So, I told him about his exciting life as a jewel thief and an outlaw. I told him about the fancy parties he used to sing at, and all the pretty girls that had fallen for him. I told him about how the freighter had pulled him out of the water one night and everybody back home thought he was dead. It made him happy, and I didn’t see the harm.

                I even told him about the Star of Ranjipooie. In fact, I used to joke with him about it. “One of these days, Mumbles, you and me are going to back and dig up that gemstone and find your family, and we’ll live like kings! One of these days!” That always made him smile.

                And that’s how we lived. Working in the mine for all those years took its toll, though, and Johnny got sick. I didn’t think he had enough of his wits about him to come back here to the city by himself, but I guess he did. According the newspapers, he tried to find “his” family, and ended up dying right after he did.

* * *

                “I mean, that should be proof enough right there. The real Mumbles wouldn’t have tried to do anything to help his family. And if he had been there in that cemetery and seen someone digging up the Star, he would have just shot everybody dead and run off with it himself. That’s how I know the man who died that night in the cemetery, and whose ashes got scattered was John Dewey, not Mumbles.” Transo finished his water and looked at the detectives.

                “That’s quite a story, Mr. Transo.” Tess said with a sigh.

                “It’s the truth. I brought as much I could to verify things. Employment records, medical records, the accident report from the freighter, it’s all here. The man who’s at large right now- he’s the real original Mumbles, and he should be held accountable for everything he’s done.” Transo held out bundles of paper, which Tess took and set on her desk.

                “Here’s what I don’t get,” Johnny started. “Why now? And why did you come to us? Why not go directly to the police? Or the press?”

                “Because who would believe me? I’m just some old crackpot. But your agency can verify everything I’ve said. And you’ve got a connection to the Mumbles case, so I knew you would want to investigate.”

                “Well, this is all very interesting Mr. Transo.” Tess walked around her desk and sat behind it, adopting a more business-like demeanor. “And, if what you’re saying is true, it would certainly clear up a few things. I think it’s worth looking into. Why don’t you leave your contact information and we’ll be in touch as soon as anything comes up.”

                “I’d rather not,” Transo stood. He reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a thick envelope. He handed it to Johnny. “I believe that’s what’s known as a retainer. It’s $6,000, in cash. Do what you can, I just want someone to know the truth.”

                Johnny looked surprised. “Um, look , Mr. Transo, this is a lot of money, and for what you’re asking us to do…”

                “There’s more.” Transo reached into his other pocket and produced a second envelope, this one with a list of names on it. “Those are the people that Johnny thought were his family. There are six of them. I understand they all suffered some trouble from this Feets Diamond character.”

                “Yes, they did.” Tess confirmed.

                “That envelope contains another $600,000, a hundred-thousand for each of them. I’d like you to find them and give them that money. I know I can trust you both. It’s what John wanted for them.”

                “Where did you get that kind of money?” Johnny asked.

                “I had made a few investments that paid off recently,” Transo explained.

                There was an awkward silence as the two detectives realized that the old man was not inclined to explain further. Tess picked up the second envelope and looked at the list.

                “Oh, dear, Mr. Transo, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but one of the people you have listed here is Kiss Andtel,” Tess looked up. “Kiss died recently.”

                “Oh. I had no idea.” Transo thought for a moment. “Well, in that case, I guess her share should go to her daughter, Kisme Quick.”

                “That will take some doing,” Tess explained. “Shortly after Kiss died, Kisme left the city. It will probably be a while before we can track her down. Assuming that she can be found at all…”

                Transo looked confused. “I thought you would know how to get in touch with her. Isn’t she a friend of your daughter Bonnie?”

                Tess’ brow furrowed. “No, I don’t think so. At the time of the Mumbles case, Bonnie was living in Washington state. I don’t believe she and Kisme ever met.”

                “But the newspapers said-“

                “I can’t explain the stories that reporters make up, Mr. Transo.” Tess stood and approached the man. “Are you sure you don’t want to let us know how to get in touch with you? I’d like to be able to tell you if we make any progress.”

                “No, trust me, Mrs. Tracy, this is for the best,” Transo said. “Mumbles – the real one – is out there somewhere, and for all I know he may be looking for me. It’ll be safer for all of us if there’s no way for him to track me through you.”

                “We understand.” Johnny assured the older man. “Good luck to you. Go ahead and call us if you find yourself in trouble.”

                “I will,” Transo answered. He walked to the door, then turned back. “Oh, Mrs. Tracy. You will tell your husband all of this, won’t you? I want him to know, too.”

                “Oh, Dick will hear about this, Mr. Transo. I’m sure he’ll be very interested.” Tess smiled.

                “Good, good. That sets my mind at ease.” With a wave, Transo left the office. His footsteps rang in the air as he walked down the hall, and then he was gone.

                “I sure wasn’t expecting that today.” Johnny said.

                “Me neither. We’d better get this money in a safe place.” Tess offered.

“Right.” Johnny picked up the thick envelope and read the names on it. “The men on this list are the people who are supposed to be Mumbles’ cousins, right? They all live here in the city, so they shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

Johnny paused.

“But wait a minute. This guy Wildbreath, and Kisme Quick. They’re supposed to be Mumbles’ kids, right?”

“Yes,” Tess replied.

“So, are they? Really? I mean, how old is Mumbles anyway?” Johnny looked puzzled.

“We may never know. It’s a mystery, Johnny Adonis. And we’re the detectives.” Tess arched an eyebrow and smiled at her partner.